TRUYEN NGAN TIENG ANH

A secret cure revealed

By Ngo Phan Luu

Knowing I often lost sleep and felt tired, old Hau, my neighbor, advised me.

- You should immediately find old man No in Quai Village at the foot of Phong Son Mountain. He has an effective secret remedy to cure wakefulness.

- Really?

- Sure. You will sleep like a log alright.

- Have you tried it?

- Sure. But I can’t tell you. Sorry. I have promised old No not to tell. He must tell you himself.

I turned silent and full of doubt. But my friend Hau was the serious type, so I was curious and suddenly wanted to check out old No. Hau provided more information and recommendations.

- You must bring good wine and first-rate cigarettes. He wants sincerity, not money.

The very next day, I set out in hot pursuit of Quai Village on my Honda.

Quai Village was quite prosperous. It had an innumerable stock of cows. There were more cows than humans.

Old No’s house was easy to find since all the villagers knew him. The instant I saw him, I liked him. He looked chubby and rosy and wore a big smile.

After hearing about my chronic wakefulness, he stroked his beard, grinning.

- Who sent you here?

- My friend Hau who lives on the same street as me.

- Oh, he was here last month. How does he look now?

- Oh, great.

- Indeed.

Old No looked obviously gratified and turned around as if to look for my friend Hau and ascertain the fact.

I hurriedly pulled out from my bag two bottles of Bau Da wine as well as a pack of 555 cigarettes.

Seeing my respectful manner, old No laughed:

- Well...Well…You already have the key to a good sleep. Why do you still want to see me?

- Not at all, sir. This is just a small token of gratitude.

I poured out the wine and we touched glasses. I drank to his health. In return, he gave a toast to my sound sleep.

Old No gulped down the glass at one go, comfortably, unceremoniously. He rubbed his hands, saying:

- You want to know my secret remedy for wakefulness?

- Yes, sir.

Old No eyed me attentively, then burst out laughing.

- It is writing.

I was startled. How could writing give you a good sleep?

- Writing?

- That’s right.

I took him at his words and begged: Please instruct me sir.

The old man slapped his thigh.

- It’s simple. First things first, you must have two things: a blank sheet of paper and a pen.

Old No stopped for a while. After swallowing another glass of wine, he continued, in a serious voice:

- You listen carefully. So you want to sleep? You must sit up straight, hold a pen in your hand, focus your eyes on the blank sheet, and gather all of your intellect in order to write a super-good unprecedented piece…You don’t know what it is or even whether it’s a poem, a story or a drama.

- It sounds hard, doesn’t it?

- Sure it does. That’s why after a while, you will fall fast asleep.

- Oh. I see.

- No you don’t. It isn’t easy to understand a magical cure.

- Please instruct me.

- Sure thing…Actually this marvelous cure isn’t about writing, but preparing to write. The piece of writing in this remedy is something that is about to be written, not what is being written.

Old No burned another cigarette, gave a long puff, and said with smoke flying all around:

- To be more accurate, this wonderful cure is about preparing to write a piece that will be super-good, not writing a super-good piece.

- I see.

- No you don’t. Wonderful remedies aren’t easy to understand. Suppose you have in your mind a super-good or completely perfect piece, then that piece isn’t really a super-good piece. A super-good piece is always somewhere else, out there…and you must find it at all cost. To be even more accurate, the point of this marvelous cure is to search for something that is impossible that you can never find.

- This is hard.

- Yes, this secret wonderful cure can make you fall asleep very fast. So you must put your bed next to your desk.

- Yes, I see.

- No you don’t. It isn’t easy to understand marvelous cures.

Old No made another toast, lit another cigarette and continued:

- Once you fall asleep, suppose somebody accidentally wakes you up, you don’t need to sit up and take the pen again, just lie in bed and tell yourself: “I will get up and write.” You will then fall back to sleep. That’s true. When you face a very challenging task, your body will automatically procrastinate, since it’s too smart to run headlong into tackling it. Anyway, how well do you write?

- I still make spelling mistakes sir.

- Excellent. The worse you write, the more effective the cure is, and actually it is best if you’re illiterate.

I filled our glasses again and we had another toast. The old man emptied his glass neat and clean and enthusiastically picked up his thread.

- There’s one more important thing. If you are sitting at your desk and happen to lose your pen and can’t find one to hold, you must proofread the draft you wrote the night before.

I was dumbfounded:

- Proofread what I have written?

- That’s right. In such cases as these, it’s more difficult to read than to write. So you must extract words from the blank sheet, and remember, those words belong to a piece of super-good writing. You must do that.

- Oh. It’s too difficult.

- That’s right. The wonder cure of proofreading can also make you sleep very fast. So you must move your bed very close to the draft.

- I see.

- No you don’t. Wonderful cures aren’t easy to understand. Oh, anyway…Does your wife lose sleep often?

- Yes. My sleeplessness keeps her awake too.

- So… tell her to proofread your writings for you regularly.

- Yes, understood.

We toasted again and almost emptied two whole bottles of wine. I felt quite elated. I looked at old No tenderly:

- Are you still writing now sir?

Old No looked at me, and his eyes flickered.

-My pen has run out of ink! I’m only proofreading now…

Translator: THUY LINH

Editor: HARI